Remember when Spring Break was fun? Mexico, Daytona Beach..
10 – You are on busy corner, and on both sides of the road there are PayDay loan stores.
The Lying Nazi Bullshit Diesel was really fucking picky about which diesel you put in it. I once stopped at a corner station in Tucson and 3 hours later the Lying Nazi came to a coughing halt.
The dealer said it had “dirty diesel” — like it’s fucking AC/DC (dirty diesel done dirt cheap).
I’ll never know why “slut” is an insult. Women who like sex and like to show it off should be treated like fucking diamonds. Just like diamonds there are plenty of them out there, but De Beers and fucking “society” keep them rare. I get why the De […]
The competitive drunks who conned me into a Texas trip last year, invited me for a weekend in the mountains. I was the first one to say “yes.” My bowels have been giving me shit ever since.
Sunday it was somewhere between a hundred and a billion degrees, so I got up at dawn and went cycling before the sun melted the blacktop. About 3 hours later, I get home breathing hard, coated in sweaty salt and smelling like a dead muskox.
I started this bullshit to cut down on my email. I wanted to just send a link and not have to deal with ten’s of email replies. Brillant.
When it comes to sex and girls, the Boy and I have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. The Bear does not share this policy. She sticks her nose into every part of his “relationships” like they are unguarded honeycombs. She started when he was in the 2nd […]
When I started cycling, I never realized I’d have a problem with the “real” fat bikers. I’m talking about those 250-plus-pound guys riding Harley’s. They fucking follow cyclists everywhere — like a pack of fat flies carrying loud speakers. We all like the two-lane curvy highways near a […]
It was in one of my first classes at ASU. American History 101. The professor was probably 25 years old. She wore business suits every day. If she was more than 5-feet tall, I’m a dinosaur.
She was smart and she knew her shit, and I liked her. But I don’t think she liked me. I sat in the back, and mumbled very deep thoughts like: “that’s fucking bullshit.”
Marriage is an ancient institution, and the wife and I have been institutionalized for more than 30 years.
I read the Orange Putin Puppet has been yelling at the TV. If that’s the standard for crazy, then my whole fucking family has been nuts since 1968. Usually the rhetorical screaming at the TV is during a game or watching the news. That’s how I learned that […]
Everybody else loses weight when they ride a bike. Not me. I’ve ridden more than 20,000 miles since 2010, and I just keep getting fatter and fatter. Yeah, Yeah… I should eat better and try other things. Fuck that. I like beer and wings and other shitty stuff. […]
There are only two guys in the world I’m jealous of — both of them are fucking geniuses. They don’t have to work — their wives make all da money.
The Bear found out about this Bullshit Blog this past weekend. And guess what mother fuckers, I’m still alive. That goddamn Lewis Black almost got me killed. He reads a couple VW rants which refer to “the bear” and just has to interject “that’s his wife.” Stick to […]