Dirty Words

Who do you think you are f•%king foolin’

It took me 10 minutes to decide the “•%” symbols were the best to replace “uc” in  fucking. 

I have never used symbols to cover up letters in a dirty word before. If I’m going to use a dirty word, I want the full effect.

But I keep seeing people “disguising” their dirty words in comments, or tweets or texts. I thought I would try it.

It’s fucking stupid.

Are you doing it for the children?  If they can read, they know the word you are being careful “not” to use.

Are you doing it for the algorithm?  Afraid Mark Zuckerberg will start “deleting”  your friends when you do the full naughty?



I get the joke, but we shouldn’t even have to cover it up on what
looks like a children’s book. Stole the image from here: 

Google and Facebook won’t let me buy a $5 ad for this bullshit, because there’s a dirty word in the title.  That’s fucking pathetic.

The “bleep” and the “blur” on television is the same stupid — in a new media.  We know what they are saying.  Have they ever bleeped a word, and you didn’t know which word they said?

If you have been fooled, you are a fucking idiot or you didn’t have the right friends in junior high to teach you how to cuss.  Homeschool.

Ok, maybe I’ll admit that it can be hard to tell the difference between “mother fucker” and “cock sucker”. But does it really matter?  It’s not about an Oedipus complex or fellatio.  It’s just an insult ending in “cker,” so it’s meaner (and funnier).

If the context is wrong for a good cuss, delete it.  Or don’t show it.

I’m not saying Squidward should be screaming “Dumb Motherfuckers” at Patrick and SpongeBob Square Pants. That would be completely accurate — I’ve said it in my head many times.  But a kid’s show isn’t the right context.

Angry mumbling will do on the Cartoon Network. We get it.

Seeing the blur, the bleep and the symbol is like wearing a condom after the vasectomy.  It’s unnecessary and blocks the last bit of pleasure.  It’s pain with no gain.  Cussing is good for you.  It reduces stress, lowers blood pressure and builds social bonds.

Covering it up is just cussus interruptus.  It’s just as bad as coitus interruptus.  

Look, coitus interruptus is a rare event.  It’s one deep cut and then we have a month to recover.  They are “*&^” and blurring and bleeping at us all day long, every day and every night.  It’s interruptus by a thousand bleeps.

It’s the kind of shit that slowly builds up your blood pressure.  Somebody should do a study on how many days this bullshit is cutting off our lives.  It’s probably not smoking, but I’ll bet it’s worse than bacon.

This “half step” from the censor, should go the way of 3.2 beer.  Half-assing it sucks in all of its iterations.

If you claim to be an adult, and you still cover your mouth or symbol out your “ck’ words, grow the fuck up.

I’ve heard your arguments — that cussing is sophomoric and immature. Dropping the “f-bomb” is unnecessary and cheap. Even childish.  Fuck that noise.

That’s the argument of control from the morality police. They want to control your words, so they can control your thoughts.  If they list out dirty words and make you feel guilty for saying them, then they can control who you have sex with and how you have it. Or who pays taxes and who doesn’t (Tax the Churches).

I’m not arguing for a society with no “dirty words.” We have a biological need to break the rules.  It’s OK to set a few rules around words. I really don’t want my son’s first grade teacher to greet him with “How the fuck are you?”

But let’s realize that dirty words are a bullshit policy created by the scolds, the petty and the preachers.  Those rules should be frequently broken at night, around adults or even friends.  Same for the written word and and other media that’s not meant for kids.

Those fucking symbols “*&^%”, blurs, and beeps are not foolin’ anyone.  Just stop it.

Categories: Dirty Words

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9 replies »

  1. I referred to a cunt as being a cunt in one of my responses to a blog friend. He was taken aback. I have no doubt if I called the c**t a c**t he would not have protested.

    Liked by 1 person

    • How very Australian of you… Cunt was a perfectly normal word in Shakespeare’s time. What a pussy you’re blog friend is — can’t even handle Shakespeare…


  2. I have often wondered why some words are so offensive and hurt so bad, and others don’t. They are all just words… just letters thrown together to have meaning… “Aye, there’s the rub” – Hamlet

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dirty words are complicated. I have a whole category devoted to them. I’ve yet to meet who gets to make these decisions on what is dirty and what’s not. I don’t think I’d like that person.


  3. A woman once told me she fell in love with me because of my “fearless use of fuck”. It’s just a word, FFS, and it only means what we make it mean.

    I’m sure all of us have found ourselves fucked, and in both the good and the bad ways. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Liked by 1 person

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