For Jerry Seinfeld, it was cabinets — for me it was paint. Gary can paint it any color you want. You just have to “say” what you want.
Everybody else loses weight when they ride a bike. Not me. I’ve ridden more than 35,000 miles since 2010, and I just keep getting fatter and fatter.
A month before his wedding, my son took 15 of his best friends on a bachelor party trip that included surfing in San Diego and at least one day trip to Tijuana.
I was denied summer camp as a child. I skipped the college dorm life. For a few years, I filled the camp/dorm fake nostalgia with Newks tennis camp.
For 10 years of cycling, my mantra was always: “I don’t want to fix my bike, I just want to ride it.”
Recently, I got a new taste for what they mean by Sweet Home Chicago.
Fucking weddings have gotten even more complicated. Now you have to have a website with invitations, RSVP’s, maps, shit to do, the mandatory shopping lists (registry) and the obligatory “Our Story.”
Somehow it became my job to review my son’s website and send him feedback and corrections (thanks to the project management skills of the wife). Mostly around “Our Story,” because his story is not as good as his cousin’s (who just got married Sept. 29).
I had planned on seeing Lewis Black for more than two years. His 2020 show — cancelled, Covid. His 2021 show — cancelled, Lewis had a health issue.
As soon as the 2022 dates came out, I got the FUCKu fan club seats. Oct. 1 in Phoenix.
Originally posted on Stephen Metcalfe:
9/19/23 Okay, guess what?? You’ll never guess in a? million years and so I’ll tell you.? Sit on his ass at a desk me recently went to — wait for it — call it the “B” word — a baseball game.? Yes!? And…
I can’t read shit without glasses, and for 3 years, I just carried a single pair of readers. Suddenly in the past few weeks, I keep losing my glasses.
This summer I took the bullshit out of Kieranbullshit.com
After several years of a happy relationship with my iPhone 6, one day it was just over. I can hardly stand to look it in the eye.
Listen my children, pick your career wisely. Nobody ever thinks about how many of your friends and family will expect “free service” for whatever skills you may
I met one of my 10 readers a few weeks ago. He turned his head like a confused puppy and asked “Why do you write this?”
I did not have an acceptable answer. I’ve been thinking about it for two weeks.
Every time I try to do something good for the planet, I get screwed.