Grandpa storytime
Did I tell you the wife and I are going to be grandparents? Blossom Savage is due in June.
Old wedding
Recently, I got a new taste for what they mean by Sweet Home Chicago.
Smile, Fucker
#MeToo, rape culture and related tags have been powerful reminders that many men are just shit factories. And women are forced to wade through their waist-deep crap almost every day.
The emperor has ugly toes
I don’t like strangers touching me. It took me years to learn how to enjoy a haircut. “You are going to love it,” the wife said in a way we both knew was a lie.
The price of kindness
If everyone is a whore and it’s just a negotiation over price, I learned I have a total value of one cold beer.
The Shit Show — Updated
One of the family secrets that I did not know until recently — my mother used to call us: “The Shit Show.”
The power of spinning
Imagine if we actually could make the dead spin in their graves…
Asexual merges
During this fucking pandemic, I think I forgot how to do it. But I’m not the only one.
In order for me to get off, you need to get on…
Haircut tips
Don’t call it fucking “hair styling” or going to a “stylist” — pushing 60, I’m back to sporting the same haircut I had when I was 6.
Whose dream is it anyway
I’ve been married so long, I’m starting to dream that I’m cheating on her… I’m not fucking kidding. Woke up in a hot sweat, half covered with a down blanket and fully wrapped in guilt.
Porn in their pockets
Old people often look back on their youth as a simpler time. That’s bullshit. Life was complicated as soon as we dropped out of the trees and walked across the savannah on our hind legs.
Civilized Men
Civilization is created by women. Without them, it’s Lord of the Flies with more testosterone and back hair.
Lewis Black Harassment
Lewis Black hates tennis. But he closed his show in Austin, Texas on Friday, Nov. 22 with a little tale about the John Newcombe Tennis Ranch. (video)
Your little…
Recently I noticed a small thing about the Bear that has been driving me a bit crazy.
Whenever she refers to any thing about me or the things I like, she always adds this one adjective.
Drop that Swiffer
Some old white guys hate taxes and never want to fund government research. Some old white guys are fucking idiots.
Kieran's Humor 