For Jerry Seinfeld, it was cabinets — for me it was paint. Gary can paint it any color you want. You just have to “say” what you want.
Everybody else loses weight when they ride a bike. Not me. I’ve ridden more than 35,000 miles since 2010, and I just keep getting fatter and fatter.
For 10 years of cycling, my mantra was always: “I don’t want to fix my bike, I just want to ride it.”
Recently, I got a new taste for what they mean by Sweet Home Chicago.
I had planned on seeing Lewis Black for more than two years. His 2020 show — cancelled, Covid. His 2021 show — cancelled, Lewis had a health issue.
As soon as the 2022 dates came out, I got the FUCKu fan club seats. Oct. 1 in Phoenix.
I can’t read shit without glasses, and for 3 years, I just carried a single pair of readers. Suddenly in the past few weeks, I keep losing my glasses.
This summer I took the bullshit out of Kieranbullshit.com
Listen my children, pick your career wisely. Nobody ever thinks about how many of your friends and family will expect “free service” for whatever skills you may
I met one of my 10 readers a few weeks ago. He turned his head like a confused puppy and asked “Why do you write this?”
I did not have an acceptable answer. I’ve been thinking about it for two weeks.
Every time I try to do something good for the planet, I get screwed.
Tennis players are a bunch of cheap bastards, and for 40 years, I fit right in. But then I made the mistake of taking the wife to Indian Wells.
I used to be a “professional writer” (small town newspaperman) and a teacher of English (9th grade), so it’s fucking hard to admit that I had to repeat English
It’s been 30 years of political battles to get cities to build bike lanes. And then the god damn cyclists ride right next to the white line.
When someone says they are “happy”with life – it’s bullshit.
I don’t like strangers touching me. It took me years to learn how to enjoy a haircut. “You are going to love it,” the wife said in a way we both knew was a lie.