I’m dreaming of a white tortilla
We’ve been married for more than 35 years. It almost ended this past Christmas Eve.
The Grinch House
If I meet somebody who lives near me, and they want to know which house is mine, all I have to say is “It’s the Grinch House.”
The problem with Christmas
You know what the problem is with Christmas… not enough commercialization.
Unintelligent Design
“Intelligent Design” is such a steaming pile of horse shit — every time some dumbass says it, part of me wants to hit them in the head with a shovel.
Voting to end voting
The polls before today’s election are baffling to me. Why are so many people voting for fascism?
Fuck Quiet Tennis
I love playing tennis, but I only “tolerate” watching it. I’d love to be a fan, if I could scream obscenities, dress up like an idiot and bring in…
Broke ass Boy
A month before his wedding, my son took 15 of his best friends on a bachelor party trip that included surfing in San Diego and at least one day trip to Tijuana.
Political investments
I’d be willing to put more into political campaigns, if I had any idea how my money would help.
Head Case
I was denied summer camp as a child. I skipped the college dorm life. For a few years, I filled the camp/dorm fake nostalgia with Newks tennis camp.
Bicycle repair man
For 10 years of cycling, my mantra was always: “I don’t want to fix my bike, I just want to ride it.”
Old wedding
Recently, I got a new taste for what they mean by Sweet Home Chicago.
Urgent Problem – Update
I missed the Lewis Black show in Phoenix for 2022. But here’s a reminder of a happier time, (2018) when I made the show and he read my little joke… with video.
“Our Story” — rewrite from the groom’s father
Fucking weddings have gotten even more complicated. Now you have to have a website with invitations, RSVP’s, maps, shit to do, the mandatory shopping lists (registry) and the obligatory “Our Story.”
Somehow it became my job to review my son’s website and send him feedback and corrections (thanks to the project management skills of the wife). Mostly around “Our Story,” because his story is not as good as his cousin’s (who just got married Sept. 29).
My stupid anger
I had planned on seeing Lewis Black for more than two years. His 2020 show — cancelled, Covid. His 2021 show — cancelled, Lewis had a health issue.
As soon as the 2022 dates came out, I got the FUCKu fan club seats. Oct. 1 in Phoenix.
The “B” Word
Originally posted on Stephen Metcalfe:
9/19/23 Okay, guess what?? You’ll never guess in a? million years and so I’ll tell you.? Sit on his ass at a desk me recently went to — wait for it — call it the “B” word — a baseball game.? Yes!? And…
Kieran's Humor 