Beer over knees
Sometimes life forces hard choices; some choices are easy.
Pumpkin house
For Jerry Seinfeld, it was cabinets — for me it was paint. Gary can paint it any color you want. You just have to “say” what you want.
I’m dreaming of a white tortilla
We’ve been married for more than 35 years. It almost ended this past Christmas Eve.
The Grinch House
If I meet somebody who lives near me, and they want to know which house is mine, all I have to say is “It’s the Grinch House.”
Unintelligent Design
“Intelligent Design” is such a steaming pile of horse shit — every time some dumbass says it, part of me wants to hit them in the head with a shovel.
Fuck Quiet Tennis
I love playing tennis, but I only “tolerate” watching it. I’d love to be a fan, if I could scream obscenities, dress up like an idiot and bring in…
Had enough
You know you have had enough of a long weekend party with the Pendejos when it’s Sunday and…
Political investments
I’d be willing to put more into political campaigns, if I had any idea how my money would help.
Bicycle repair man
For 10 years of cycling, my mantra was always: “I don’t want to fix my bike, I just want to ride it.”
Old wedding
Recently, I got a new taste for what they mean by Sweet Home Chicago.
“Our Story” — rewrite from the groom’s father
Fucking weddings have gotten even more complicated. Now you have to have a website with invitations, RSVP’s, maps, shit to do, the mandatory shopping lists (registry) and the obligatory “Our Story.”
Somehow it became my job to review my son’s website and send him feedback and corrections (thanks to the project management skills of the wife). Mostly around “Our Story,” because his story is not as good as his cousin’s (who just got married Sept. 29).
My stupid anger
I had planned on seeing Lewis Black for more than two years. His 2020 show — cancelled, Covid. His 2021 show — cancelled, Lewis had a health issue.
As soon as the 2022 dates came out, I got the FUCKu fan club seats. Oct. 1 in Phoenix.
Your Package Sucks
I can’t read shit without glasses, and for 3 years, I just carried a single pair of readers. Suddenly in the past few weeks, I keep losing my glasses.
Removing bullshit
This summer I took the bullshit out of Kieranbullshit.com
Fuck You Cell Phone – Updated
After several years of a happy relationship with my iPhone 6, one day it was just over. I can hardly stand to look it in the eye.
Kieran's Humor 