Tag: tennis

Phallic smile

I recently took my 15th final farewell trip to the third world racquet club in Tucson. I learned something that may change the way I look at a small part of life — forever. Once you hear this story, it’s going to mess you up too.

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Fuck Quiet Tennis

I love playing tennis, but I only “tolerate” watching it. I’d love to be a fan, if I could scream obscenities, dress up like an idiot and bring in…

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Head Case

I was denied summer camp as a child. I skipped the college dorm life. For a few years, I filled the camp/dorm fake nostalgia with Newks tennis camp.

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The “B” Word

Originally posted on Stephen Metcalfe:
9/19/23 Okay, guess what?? You’ll never guess in a? million years and so I’ll tell you.? Sit on his ass at a desk me recently went to — wait for it — call it the “B” word — a baseball game.? Yes!? And…

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Dry Fit

Tennis players are a bunch of cheap bastards, and for 40 years, I fit right in. But then I made the mistake of taking the wife to Indian Wells.

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The Nelson Step

Look down when you are leaving the bar at the 3rd world racquet club — one of these steps is not like the others. It’s blonde and has a slightly different pattern

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two hand Pickleball stroke

The world’s newest profession

It’s the end of the world as we know it. Pickleball has not only gone professional, but there are 3 pro leagues. I shit you not. Adults can pick up a paddle and win prize money for hitting a whiffle ball over a net. This has to be […]

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Requiem for a roommate

I really never cared about the life of birds before I met him.  As long as they didn’t poop on my car or swoop down on my head, I hardly noticed they were there.  But Alec was quick to point out when two hawks had 4 baby hawks in the big tree on the opposite side of my condo complex in Tucson.

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Stephen Metcalfe

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