Phallic smile
I recently took my 15th final farewell trip to the third world racquet club in Tucson. I learned something that may change the way I look at a small part of life — forever. Once you hear this story, it’s going to mess you up too.
Pickleball confession
I have a whole category of rants about how bad “Pickleball Sucks,” but I must confess (like Katy Perry) I played a pickleball game, and I liked it.
Correcting your kids
If another adult “disciplines” your kid, the right response is embarassment — you are raising a little fucker who did something wrong. Just apologize and then shut your mouth.
Beer over knees
Sometimes life forces hard choices; some choices are easy.
Fuck Quiet Tennis
I love playing tennis, but I only “tolerate” watching it. I’d love to be a fan, if I could scream obscenities, dress up like an idiot and bring in…
Head Case
I was denied summer camp as a child. I skipped the college dorm life. For a few years, I filled the camp/dorm fake nostalgia with Newks tennis camp.
The “B” Word
Originally posted on Stephen Metcalfe:
9/19/23 Okay, guess what?? You’ll never guess in a? million years and so I’ll tell you.? Sit on his ass at a desk me recently went to — wait for it — call it the “B” word — a baseball game.? Yes!? And…
Dry Fit
Tennis players are a bunch of cheap bastards, and for 40 years, I fit right in. But then I made the mistake of taking the wife to Indian Wells.
Kids game puts tennis in a pickle
Gazing through the warped lens of the empty whiskey glass, the Tennis Channel executive could no longer contain the anger.
The Nelson Step
Look down when you are leaving the bar at the 3rd world racquet club — one of these steps is not like the others. It’s blonde and has a slightly different pattern
Beach BBQ Bingo
One of the reasons people gave me for going to La Jolla was to “barbecue on the beach”. What the fuck?
Pathetic Hopeless Alcoholic
Hi, my name is Kieran, and I am a pathetic, hopeless alcoholic — at least according to the wife I am.
The world’s newest profession
It’s the end of the world as we know it. Pickleball has not only gone professional, but there are 3 pro leagues. I shit you not. Adults can pick up a paddle and win prize money for hitting a whiffle ball over a net. This has to be […]
Requiem for a roommate
I really never cared about the life of birds before I met him. As long as they didn’t poop on my car or swoop down on my head, I hardly noticed they were there. But Alec was quick to point out when two hawks had 4 baby hawks in the big tree on the opposite side of my condo complex in Tucson.
WTF WTA
Taking a moral stand in a sports business seems to be a modern oxymoron. Or at least that’s what I wrote and they foolishly published on this website: https://www.eotbsports.com/blogs/news/wta-intervention
KieranHumor.com 