Human extinction — let me count the ways
Since I was a child hiding under my desk at school “practicing for World War III,” I’ve known the “end is near.” It didn’t start with me. We have all “known it” for a long time.
Fat Biker: Bugs
How can you spot a happy bikers? Count the bugs in their teeth.
I know that’s an old terrible joke… but it sort of applies to bicycles too. I’ve swallowed my share of “free protein” — especially riding at night.
Phallic smile
I recently took my 15th final farewell trip to the third world racquet club in Tucson. I learned something that may change the way I look at a small part of life — forever. Once you hear this story, it’s going to mess you up too.
Deadwood Walking
If you are ever feeling fat and old, go to Deadwood, South Dakota in the summer. Look around the casino, walk the streets. It’s better than time travel.
Dick moves of the Musk
I’ve been hearing how smart artificial intelligence and machine learning “is” since 2008. It seems to be on everybody’s lips 15 years later with chats and pictures coming from a machine that are as good or better than people.
I still wince at the claims.
Not in front of the children
Grown-ass men tell me to “watch my language” when kids are around. Fuck that.
The missing middle
Just when you thought it could not get any dumber, politics in the US has found new depths of stupid in 2023.
Iron What?
Ironing is fucking stupid and dangerous, and we should all stop it.
Pickleball confession
I have a whole category of rants about how bad “Pickleball Sucks,” but I must confess (like Katy Perry) I played a pickleball game, and I liked it.
Correcting your kids
If another adult “disciplines” your kid, the right response is embarassment — you are raising a little fucker who did something wrong. Just apologize and then shut your mouth.
Fat Biker Problems – School Zones
The worst part of road biking: flat tires. Fat guys get a shit ton of flat tires. The last two were annoying little piss ant slow leaks
Hot conspiracy
I believe my friends have entered in a conspiracy with my wife and the Lord… to kill me.
Shitty book holder
I got a new job this year, but I still kinda suck at it. Maybe I will get better with age.
Grandpa storytime
Did I tell you the wife and I are going to be grandparents? Blossom Savage is due in June.
Pumpkin house
For Jerry Seinfeld, it was cabinets — for me it was paint. Gary can paint it any color you want. You just have to “say” what you want.
KieranHumor.com 