Fat Biker Problems
Everybody else loses weight when they ride a bike. Not me. I’ve ridden more than 35,000 miles since 2010, and I just keep getting fatter and fatter.
Fat Biker – Batteries Not Included
Cycling is supposed to be some crunchy-granola-zen shit — but thanks to modern engineering — it’s not…
Fat Biker: Fatter Biker
I never thought it would happen to me. Riding on the flat dirt path next to a canal, I got passed — by an even fatter biker.
Fat Biker: The Wire
“I bought this bike, so I could ride it. I don’t want to learn how to fix it.”
Body-Size Bigot
I must confess and probably apologize… I’m a body-size bigot.
Fat Biker: Narrow Paths
For years I wished the town of Gilbert would pave the canal path from Guadalupe to Warner Road. Sometimes it’s better for wishes not to come true.
Becoming a Skinny Fuck in San Francisco
It sucks being the only fat man in San Francisco. I was there for work last week squeezed into a conference hotel with a 1000 skinny fucks.
A bunch of vegans and vegetarians with food allergies surrounded me. Even in the few moments when I escaped the hotel, the streets were packed, the restaurants and bars had these tiny chairs and tables stacked on each other like legos.
Fat Biker: Wheel Suckers
Most cyclists are your basic MAMIL’s (middle-aged men in lycra) — you know harmless, masochistic skinny fucks who enjoy burning muscle pain and oxygen deprivation.
But occasionally out of a pack of MAMIL’s, one douchebag will pop up like burnt toast. There’s a few different types of douches, but the worst is the wheel-sucker.
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