Category: Phoenix Fables

Phoenix, Arizona is a new city, but it’s one of several “homes” to my Bullshit.

The Grinch House

By Kieran on December 24, 2022 • ( 6 Comments )

If I meet somebody who lives near me, and they want to know which house is mine, all I have to say is “It’s the Grinch House.”

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Winter grass, we have our droughts

By Kieran on August 23, 2022 • ( 5 Comments )

In a month or so, some people of the Phoenix Valley will cut their Bermuda grass to the nub and plant their rye for winter. Selfish pricks.

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Fat Biker: desert storm

By Kieran on August 16, 2022 • ( 5 Comments )

I got a third of the way up the mountain, when I had to turn back for my bicycle pump. No big deal, I’ll just be a few hours late getting home. I’m lucky I made it at all.

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My Neighbor's Chicken Shit

By Kieran on June 23, 2022 • ( 1 Comment )

I’m not sure when Gilbert, Az started letting roosters live in my neighborhood, but last year some fucking little Foghorn Leghorn moved in almost next door.

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Shit online teachers say

By Kieran on March 16, 2021 • ( 3 Comments )

The echos of 7th grade math have been reverberating through my house for the past 2 months.

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Fat Biker: ducks are dicks

By Kieran on December 2, 2020 • ( 9 Comments )

Ducks should run like chickens. But not the fucking gaggle on the Western Canal bike path south of Baseline Road in Mesa, Az.

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Fat Biker: Horse’s Ass

By Kieran on May 21, 2020 • ( 8 Comments )

Put tires on my road bike that are 3 millimeters wider (25 to 28 mm), so I could ride on a little dirt. What did I get? A berating from two “expert” trail users.

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COW Surprise

By Kieran on March 3, 2020 • ( 7 Comments )

There are hours (never full days) when I miss being a teacher. Then the Bear tells me “how her day went” and I remember: ohh that shit sucks.

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Chicken Shit Surround Sound

By Kieran on February 25, 2020 • ( 11 Comments )

I’m hoping roosters taste exactly like chicken, because my other neighbor just got a Mother Fucking Rooster.

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Ceiling Stroke

By Kieran on January 21, 2020 • ( 8 Comments )

Did I tell you the Bear had a stroke?

Don’t worry it was long ago, and there are no obvious lasting effects other than (once in a while) she won’t shut up about it.

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Desert fall to winter

By Kieran on January 18, 2020 • ( 8 Comments )

It’s January 18. The sun is shinning, but the air is cool…

Time for fucking fall in Gilbert, Arizona.

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Registered Republican

By Kieran on October 31, 2019 • ( 2 Comments )

You would never know from reading this Bullshit, but I have a secret. I’m a registered Republican in the state of Arizona.

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Forgotten Dad Lessons

By Kieran on July 25, 2019 • ( 18 Comments )

We often forget the impact we have on others. Here’s a little reminder that came from The Boy (now age 29) through Facebook Messenger of what a shitty dad I am.