The wife, my sister and I spent 12 days in Italy this year. I won’t bore you with a story like I did three years ago.
Let’s play a game.
We didn’t take pictures of every bottle of wine we drank, but I did manage to find these 15 photos. I honestly can’t remember how many we had on the trip. I’m going to blame my age, not the wine.
But let’s see if you can guess where we are by the bottle. I can’t. And no one cares about “your score.” Try to have some fun.
🍷 Guess where we are drinking by the wine label…
Bottle 1
Zoom and pan the photo if it helps. Then pick the city. This is the easiest question on the quiz.
🍷 Bottle 2
That’s me. I’m not mad or drunk. I just always look like that.
That bottle is illegible at any resolution. Just guess. There’s no “wining” this “quiz.”
By the way, I do the “crazy eyes” in photos, so I don’t have to try and fake a smile.
Creepy? Yes.
Fun for me? Absolutely.
🍷 Bottle 3
This is my attempt at a smile. HINT — the waitress in Rome was from “the South”, and we were following her recommendations. Think Puglia and Sicily only.
People often ask me why I don’t smile… Here’s why.
🍷 Bottle 4
Ok this may be a drunk smile. Remember the waitress in Rome was from “the south” (Sicily not South Carolina).
🍷 Bottle 5
You can’t read the bottle label in this photo — but it’s the same as Bottle 3. The Wife was little help — see that Diet Coke — that’s her.
Bottle 6
That’s my sister. She’s not mad or drunk. She just always looks like that.
Bottle 7
Here’s a bottle you can read. So you don’t have to look at my face.
Bottle 8
Same shirt — different bottle.
Bottle 9
New shirt. Completely different bottles and city.
I have no excuses for the hair.
Bottle 10
Back to the crazy orange shirt and the crazy eyes. But this is a new city.
Bottle 11
When people say “smile more,” they don’t mean me. Feel free to guess.
Bottle 12
Ok. In this photo I might actually be drunk.
Crazy eyes and leaning to the right like I’m about to have a stroke.
Bottle 13
If you thought I was drunk on Bottle 12 – check out this shit.
Bottle 14
Same jacket, same city. Has that lady been following me?
Bottle 15
There’s no label on that bottle. A couple of “guys/ragazzi” the “family knows” make it.
They call it “Valpolicella”.
🍷 Final Score
Finished all 15? Click to see how you did!
Congrats or condolences for even reading this far. As you can tell, this is a complete bullshit quiz that not even the top expert in Italian wine could “win.”
But at least you got to see Pompeii, Naples, Rome, Florence and Domodossola the way I did. We went to Milan too, but we were hanging with Lynn’s family and probably too drunk to remember to take pictures of the bottles.
For those of you counting… that was at least 15 bottles in 12 days. And that’s definitely not all the bottles we had. Sure, sure they say there were 3 of us, but the Wife is no help, and the Sister is officially a light-weight.
We did do a little more than drink in Italy, but even if that’s all we did — it was worth it.
I gave up after the 10th question. I should have given up sooner. This was a tough, fucking quiz. So there, that’s my whine. And this whine is from California.
Sorry my little joke of a Quiz caused you such consternation. I knew it was “impossible” to get “right” but I tried to make losing fun. California should be used to that.
Good to see you back and good to see you haven’t changed much 😊
Or not at all.
Holy flying grapes the K man is back to posting.
Hal- the fn lujah! That is a lot of wine drinking big guy. I can’t take the red and usually only drink white if i am having Italian food. So would have been worthless on this trip.
I can drink the hell out of the vodka though 🙂 I should visit Italy someday -if i can ever leave the comfort of home.
Cheers,
Butterpants
One of Lynn’s cousins makes “grappa” basically vodka with an accent. You would be fine.