Bad Tech

Facebook Owns My Consumer Soul

Mark Fuckerberg* has been selling my “soul” to the highest bidder for years, and all I am doing is quietly screaming “Fuck You” on Facebook.

You should read this shit about how Facebook has pushed and profited from all the bullshit ads you see on the Internet.

While publicly proclaiming Facebook was “fighting” the spammers and kicking them off the platform, they sent out teams of sales people to coordinate campaigns and fill Facebook’s coffers from fake offers from bullshit diets to dick pills.

Fuckerberg mission

Fuck you, you goddamn soulless, douchebag, millennial, greedy, mother-fuckers.

Not only do they target your data that you entered, but their bots track down your family and friends and spread that shit to all of them too. It’s Skynet with pictures of your pet as the path to take over your life.

Maybe that’s OK with legitimate businesses. Hell, I’ve bought “look-alike” campaigns on Facebook before, and they sort of worked. But don’t fucking follow the fraudsters around the world to solicit them to hack your “platform.”

No wonder Fuckerberg* and his ilk are hiding in their California offices and avoiding the press and politicians. They have a lot of shit to hide.

And it’s not like they weren’t making enough fucking money just from the legit ads for cars and beer. Goddamn, with pot becoming legal they had a whole fucking new legitimate product to push.

Not only are they getting new products, but their fucking demographics were getting older and richer. It started with poor college kids and high schoolers, but now Facebook is full of grandparents and the newly minted retirees. Those fucking RV’s are expensive, and it’s not cheap for an old midwestern farmer to buy a used trailer in Quartzite, Az. There’s ad revenue in them, there gray hairs.

But no, that wasn’t fucking enough for Fuckerberg* and his Silicon Valley investor overlords. They had to play both good and bad cop going after the dirty dollars too.

So what the fuck are we going to do. I’ve seen the #deleteFacebook push. Hell, I had a friend bail on Facebook in March before all this shit hit the fan just because he didn’t like all the fighting and fussing over personal political views.

But Facebook is like Brokeback Mountain. No matter how many times you fuck me in the ass, I just can’t quit ya. Half the fucking people I know have moved away or gotten different jobs, and my only connection to them is through you. Fuck.

I can’t really make friends in person. The boy says I alienate just about everybody with my “dad don’t give a fuck” attitude. And this goddamn Bullshit Blog is the best alienation tool ever devised.

I’ve got too many friends to keep up with. Facebook is perfect to see who’s still alive, who had a good vacation, and that kind of shit. It’s great for people I want to track but don’t really want to interact.

It’s vacation voyeurism with just the right touch of envy and angst. Bet that shit never made Facebook’s investor pitch.

So I’m going to continue to post, and like and share and put my Bullshit “out there.” But Goddamn it, I’m going to vote for people who want to regulate that shit and tax the fuck out of Fuckerberg and the people who roll like him.

At least I get one little delicious taste of irony as I post, “Fuck you Fuckerberg” on the platform he built.

* @kathleenmadigan was the first person I saw use “Fuckerberg.” If you are going to steal, steal from the best.

Categories: Bad Tech

Tagged as:

3 replies »