Fat Biker

Fat Biker: Murderous Drivers

Just because you are wrapped in two tons of steel and plastic doesn’t mean you get to run over anything that slightly annoys you — especially a fat biker just out for a ride.

I’ve lost count of the number of assholes who have just missed my head or my legs.

I’ve had two friends who have been intentionally hit by drivers.  They know because the driver told them so.  Both had some serious leg injuries but nothing life threatening.

The worst story happened to the brother of someone I rode with a few times.  The brother was becoming a professional biker — until a car ran over him.  They started a campaign: Three-Feet for Pete in his honor.

I also found a story about a day of rememberance about cars killing people in Austin.

I was thinking about that when this asshole tweets:

I just cleared out a bike lane with my tow mirrors😈


Of course, I had to call him a “Dumb Mother Fucker” and a few other things.

Others said I should chill out, “he was only joking…”  Hey I’ve said lots of  insults and maybe even a few threats, so I’m trying to not be the PC asshole…

OK maybe “Deer Liquor” just doesn’t know that bikers get killed by cars? You know maybe he’s just a little bit special…  “Cowboy poets” usually come with dirty dungarees not college degrees.

But then I read the replies.  134 people “liked” the idea of killing cyclists.  Others said they loved it and couldn’t stop laughing.

Ohh, that’s fucking hilarious.

This picture must be a real knee slapper.


Image taken from this story: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/bike-race/ — Yes it’s a real picture.


Of course, these same people would like and laugh at a tweet that said?

Just cleared out this classroom with my AR-15.

Why not love that — it’s the same idea.  Let’s mow dow a bunch of innocent people with a weapon of mass destruction. “That’s some funny shit right there,” said no decent human being ever.


I get that waiting the 10 seconds it might take to get around a bike can be frustrating. I’ve been driving behind a pack of cyclists and wondered whether I was ever going to get to pass.

“Jesus christ I have to take my foot off the gas.  Shit, now I’m supposed to brake.”

It’s so tempting to just floor it and “squeeze” past.  You tell yourself, those skinny fucks in the tight-ass pants shouldn’t be on the road anyway.

But take a second and think.  How long does it really take to pass a bike?  Wait a few seconds for the smallest of gaps between lanes and you will be free and clear in less than 5 seconds.

Worst that could happen is you get stuck for one more red light…

If you couldn’t pass, no one else could either.  There will be a big open road ahead.

Pass the bike, go ahead, hit the gas, see what your piece of shit truck can do.  Speed as fast as your bullshit diesel engine will go and “make up” any lost time.

Weigh that against squeezing or pushing the bike(s) off the road.  Best that could happen is everyone is uninjured.  Worst is that you kill a biker or two. Is that really what you want to do?

Apparently, “Deer Liquor” is OK with murdering a few people with his tow mirror.

I can only hope that’s not true for the rest of you.


NOTE: I do most of my cycling in Tucson, Arizona.  And it was recently listed as the second most dangerous city in America to ride a bike. Fuck.


5 replies »

  1. I cannot ‘like’ this post. I can’t decide whether to be angry, horrified, sad, or all of the above in equal portions. Right now my stomach is in the back of my throat and I’m literally shaking with outrage.

    This is a topic near and dear to my heart. We are a cycling family and the stories that come out after a long ride are shocking. I don’t know whether people realize the possible implications of their actions. It is tantamount to attempted murder. I have friends who have had horrific accidents from which the driver fled the scene and left them for dead. In 2 cases, it is a miracle they are still alive, although with injuries that have been life-changing.

    Being told to ‘chill out’? Why anyone would think this is a joke is beyond me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like to ride a bike, but the statistics are discouraging for a chicken like me. So I don’t ride anymore. Even with a helmet there’s not much protection from a sideswiping car. I admire your courage for sticking with it, even after the close calls.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I spend a lot more time on bike paths and deserted roads than I used to. But I’d still rather take my chances with the cars than ride a mountain bike and hit a tree, or a cactus or fall off s cliff.

      Liked by 1 person

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