“Intelligent Design” is such a steaming pile of horse shit — every time some dumbass says it, part of me wants to hit them in the head with a shovel.

Don’t worry I’m not going to cave in their little Christian pin heads… But I have lost a few “Facebook friends” when they throw out a “reasonable argument” or “evidence” of God. They always come back to the same old shitty syllogism:

“If every complex thing was designed;

And the universe is complex;

Then the universe must have an intelligent designer.”

Their conclusion is of course: the designer has to be an illiterate carpenter named Jesus (i.e. give to my church now).

At first, I try to be nice and just follow their logic and ask a simple question: “If everything is designed, who designed the designer?”

Most of them get all pissy and say: “what a dumbass question.” They don’t have an answer and they fill the void with anger.

Or they quit (unfriend) before a “discussion” even starts. The few who stay engaged usually answer with some crazy-ass circular logic like: “That’s the point.”

So… rules apply to everything but their magical creature in the sky who can design himself (it’s always a fucking male God they are talking about).

That’s always a little bit frustrating.

But what really pisses me off is when they twist words with actual meanings into this Christian schizophrenic word-salad.

Like this video that shows “evidence for God”.

https://www.facebook.com/joshua.feuerstein.5/videos/1163450647090949/?t=98

You don’t need to follow the link. Summary: it’s “man-on-the-street interviews” with “self-confessed atheists” who become “believers” after being asked how a book with color pages “created itself.”

Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and say they found some real people and did real interviews (and didn’t just hire a few actors). If they used real people there should be names, dates, locations… but I didn’t find anything “real” like that in the video.

So they caught some people off-guard and confused them with an illogical comparison and a set of leading questions. Jay Leno, Watters World on Fox and the Daily Show have been showing how easy that is to do for 20 years.

People are basically stupid. It’s easy to make almost anyone look dumb in an impromptu interview when they are nervous and want to please the interviewer.

Congratu-fucking-lations.

What pisses me off is them calling this “evidence.”

Here’s the fucking definition of evidence:

ev·i·dence

ˈevədəns/

noun

1. the available body of facts or information indicating whether a belief or proposition is true or valid

Seeing a colored book exists is not “evidence” that a god exists, shit head. Evidence that God exists would be bone fragments, or hair samples or any fucking thing we could measure that is part of an omnipotent, infinite being.

You can’t even call your shitty syllogism a rational argument.

Is it rational to think things started wth very simple particles that heat and pressure fused into atoms? That hydrogen came first and burned in stars until it fissioned into all the other elements? And we can see that process in the stars around us?

Or did it start with the most complex magical creature in the history of everything? One Monday, the immortal shepherd wrinkled up his nose like Samantha on Betwitched and made everything in 6 days. Saturday he was pretty tired, but still made a man from mud and then a woman from a rib. Sunday he took a little nappie. But there is no physical evidence of this left behind to prove this complex creature could ever exist.

I’ll help you out if you are confused. It’s not rational to believe in magic (or Santa or the Easter Bunny — which make about as much sense as the Genesis story of creation).

You can believe in your imaginary all-powerful friend if you want, but you can’t say it’s  rational or based on evidence. That’s not what those  words mean. You are a lying asshole when you use them. Worse you are purposefully distorting those words to manipulate and control everyone around you. So fuck you very much.

Extra Points

Just for fun, let’s assume your delusion could be true, and the universe started by “magic”.

You may take solace in having an omnipotent master who could control everything. I find it frightening.

What kind of a monster creates cancer? Why would this monster give it to small children?

What is the design and purpose behind the flu? Why the fuck would you want viruses to “mutate” so they can continue to kill — especially the young, the old and the weak?

And don’t give me that bullshit that we “can’t understand” — or your invisible friend works “in mysterious ways.” We “understand” how cancer and viruses  work. We know if they were purposely designed, the purpose would be to maim, punish and kill people. There’s no mystery there.

We don’t need to examine the purpose of tapeworms, mosquitoes and the Tse Fly to know their only mission is to destroy people for their own benefit.

I could list almost every kind of natural disaster, disease, accident or act of human evil as further questions for “the creator”, but I won’t bore you with the details. The answer is always the same. If there was a designer, it was a fucking stupid one or it hates humanes and wants to see us punished and eventually destroyed.

You are welcome to have your own faith if it makes you feel good. But keep your horse shit “intelligent design” rationalization to yourself. That’s why when you say or post that crap, I want to break out my shovel and knock that shit out of your head.  But I don’t.  I would need the deep faith of being absolutely right (that can only be found in religion) to do something that terrible.