Anti Theism

The problem with Christmas

You know what the problem is with Christmas… not enough commercialization.

I used to resent all things Christmas as a pretense to groom innocent children into the lies of Christianity.

Santa was just a stand in for Jesus. An easy to digest harmless magical being. A way to worm in “faith” and the power of “belief” — without the images of torture, death, eternal damnation and hell-fire.

Santa: the Disney starter set for “The Christ”. (They say “The Christ” like he went to Ohio State.)

When Fox News complained about the War on Christmas – that was me. I was the sole anti-Christmas warrior quietly grumbling my dissent only to be immediately ignored by everyone around me.

But now that my child is old enough to have his own children; I’ve mellowed. Sure, tell the little kids about Santa. Don’t take it too seriously. Don’t shove it down their throats.

The second they question the logic, the possibility of one “being” doing all that delivering in one night — immediately agree with the kid. “And flying reindeer are bullshit too,” you should say. Reward critical thinking and questioning authority. Give the kid a cookie for asking the questions.

That’s a valuable life lesson — you can’t trust anyone son, not even your parents. They will lie to you for “fun.”

As soon as the kid accepts there is no Santa — tell him Jesus is bullshit too. Don’t let that ugly species of “faith” invade their thinking.

Otherwise they might find themselves engaged is a stupid fight like Jesus versus Santa. Seriously there are people worried about people saying “Happy Holidays” (Santa) instead of “Merry Christmas” (Jesus).

Jesus versus Santa.  No contest - they are both bullshit - but Santa is harmless.
Jesus versus Santa is no contest – they are both bullshit – but Santa is mostly harmless. I hear he is pro-choice and believes the 2020 election was free and fair. Jesus believes are unknown because he didn’t say shit about abortion or democracy.

When someone makes a face or balks at my “Happy Holidays” greeting, I solve their conundrum by ending with “Merry Fucking Christmas, too.”

It’s the Economy, Santa

Instead of fighting over greetings and whose holiday is whose, Americans need to spend more time buying useless decorations, presents that will be returned, and gift cards that will never be used. It’s good for the economy. Consumer spending is the best thing holding up employment and keeping the Fed from plunging us into a high-interest rate recession.

The donations, the end of the year tax breaks, sending turkeys to the food banks — all good too.

We could all use a break — especially when the days are at their darkest. Why not celebrate that the northern hemisphere is turning back toward the sun. Sorry, South America, Africa and Australia. Majority rule. Just apply more sunblock for the holidays, and let us have this winter fest.

So spend away. Take lots of time off work. Help others if you can. Drink too much. Gain 10 or 50 pounds. And let’s all do our best to finally take “the Christ” out of Christmas…

Having trouble… Just pretend Jesus is a Wolverine. That will get rid of this “The Christ” bullshit.

8 replies »

  1. I have a post planned for tomorrow that is similar to this. Once again, we kind of think the same on a lot of things. Like that time I stole your idea for crack, where it was about watching chiropractors crack backs, but didn’t know about yours (allegedly).

    Liked by 1 person

    • This may be a good time to confess that I infected your devices with a keyboard tracker and I know everything you type before you publish. I give it the old college rewrite and publish first just to mess with you. Keep the bitterness flowing, I won’t have anything to write about without it. I promise not to write about your search history.


  2. I enjoyed your take on the holiday.

    We have been fighting over xmas for over 10 years. It’s foolish, but the fight continues to this day. I learned to just smile and say, “same to you” when I get greeted, just to keep it neutral to avoid a debate.
    Since we are not with family this year, (we all gathered in Costa Rica last month), Sue and I are spreading holiday cheer among our closest friends.
    You may enjoy a visit to my page for the story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like how you tie the myth of Santa to the myth of Jesus. There’s some Christmas food for thought for kids aged 6 to 8. Your grandkids may have some interesting conversations with their Sunday School teachers.

    Liked by 1 person

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