Bad Tech

Finding Bullshit

People have found this Bullshit in some pretty fucked up ways.

Somehow I connected with a Canadian satirist (Paul Duncan — a few months ago, and left a few comments on his site.  Since then Fucking Canadians has become my most popular post. It is visited almost exclusively by Canadians — who are probably looking for porn.

Those horney Canadians are even beating out the advertisitng budgets of both Wix (Wix sucks really hard) and the United States Tennis Association (Fuck the USTA).

And to be fair, all my traffic from Pakistan comes to the “Fuck the USTA” post.  I can’t tell if they are really tennis players in Pakistan (they have a few pros) or just fat-fingering a “T” into the end of their search. (Ok that’s probably a racist thought — but I wouldn’t point fingers at anybody for googling “fuck the USA” right now.)

This other crazy blogger posted my story about the Bear Killing me with Coffee on her site, and that brought a few folks too.

Last week I noticed something new.  Never has any analytics page showed the actual words people googled to land on this bullshit site.

Until this:

screen shot 2019-01-15 at 2.11.32 pm

Yep — those are three actual lists of words that people typed in a search engine to find

We can forgive the syntax error for the one who searched for “millennial douchebag”.  Perhaps English is a second language so the adjective comes after the noun. Or you could argue that both Douchebag or Millennial could be used as adjectives (or nouns) so the syntax does not matter…

But on my Bullshit, it will always be: Douchebag Millennials  — otherwise “millennial douchebags” could be confused for 1000-year-old plastic bags used as a douche  — rather than the millennial generation that happens to be full of human douchebags.

I don’t know who the fuck is googling “snow bird dream interpretation”  but they ended up on  “I Have a Snowbird Dream“.  I’m pretty fucking sure Google failed to deliver the proper result on that one.

My favorite has to be “my son is a douchebag.”  Who among the Baby Boom has not had that exact same thought — at least for a fleeting moment.  The Boy has done a lot of good things, and he’s generally growing out of his douchebaggery.

But that whole generation has so many traits so deeply engrained in their douchebag ways, it’s a wonder only one parent went googling for help and ended up on my Bullshit. (Sorry, dude, I don’t have a clue how to help you son out of his douchebaggery…)

1 reply »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.