Fucking weddings have gotten even more complicated. Now you have to have a website with invitations, RSVP’s, maps, shit to do, the mandatory shopping lists (registry) and the obligatory “Our Story.”
Somehow it became my job to review my son’s website and send him feedback and corrections (thanks to the project management skills of the wife). Mostly around “Our Story,” because his story is not as good as his cousin’s (who just got married Sept. 29).
After several years of a happy relationship with my iPhone 6, one day it was just over. I can hardly stand to look it in the eye.
Listen my children, pick your career wisely. Nobody ever thinks about how many of your friends and family will expect “free service” for whatever skills you may
I’ve spent way too much time on the Olympic mix channel trying to pick one of the five NBC screens to watch — only to wonder “what the fuck is this doing in the Olympics” and turn the whole damn thing off.
Covid-19 Quarantine has sent many of us scurrying back to our bicycles.
Some for the first time since childhood. I see them on the bike paths, wearing a T-shirt and jeans shorts with no pads, gears squeaking from the spider webs they didn’t bother to wipe, and weaving all over the road like drunks.
I learned recently that several fathers have let their children read this Bullshit. I’m seriously thinking about calling Child Protective Services.
If you see me being led away in handcuffs anytime soon, it was just life teaching me another little lesson about me. Here’s my side of the story.
People have found this Bullshit in some pretty fucked up ways.
We screwed up raising this kid — the Boy likes people and has no sense of shame or social awkwardness.
Lost: 1 purple sneaker somewhere on I-10 freeway
Found: 1 purple sneaker as it hit the windshield of my lying nazi bullshit diesel.
Reward: Yeah, here’s the reward for the dipshit douchebag millennial; you get to live without being named and shamed only because I don’t know who you are…