Richard Branson couldn’t stop smiling and praising himself for “blasting off” as high as the Soviet Union sent a dog in the 1950’s. Jeff Bezos followed it up by tying the records set by “Ham” the chimp the US sent up in 1961.
It’s fucking hot. 108 in Portland, 115 in Medford, Oregon. Those are typical for us here, where central air meets central Arizona. But now you can’t escape the heat even if you fly 1000-miles north.
Larry the Cable Guy taught me something on Twitter. I too, am becoming a narrow-minded old fart.
As a patient, I’ve never got to spend more than about 5 minutes straight with a doctor. Unless I was unconscious and he was cutting something out of my body like my appendix or the soft disc in my lumbar spine. Then maybe I can afford the full hour.
I’m sure you will agree that birthdays are BULLSHIT. You have done nothing to deserve all this. Today, you are just a hairy freeloader forcing a social tax on your friends for food, drinks and gifts. Congratulations — you are now a socialist.
It was created to solve a problem that didn’t exist, and now the very existence of the Electoral College creates a bigger problem — giving power to losers.
Sure the rooms were $350 a night, and we could only get a room up the stairs with a “street view,” and the restaurants were closed, and no barbecues on the beach, and there was no food or booze service on the beach. But it came with a “free mask.”
Remember when “Up talking” was just for teenage girls and gay men? Those were the fucking days.
Since I quit my job in Tucson, I’ve had my fill of fiction.
Here’s a message I thought I could stand up and salute… or at least a part of me could.
Protestors, rioters, terrorists… seem to be the media’s choice for naming the fools who stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6 and might be planning more attacks this week.
Cops and prosecutors arrest and charge them as trespassers and assaulters and say they participated in “disorderly conduct.”
But all that’s bullshit.
It was the first or second day of school the first year I was teaching 8th grade when “Bradley” tried to blow the ceiling off the classroom with what could have been the world’s loudest and longest fart.
I used to think only Banana Republics prosecuted and imprisoned politicians who lost.
But we need to make an exception for the Orange Republican.
No matter what happens tonight on election night, it’s just the beginning.
I came out of the closet carrying a fairly new, perfectly good hat. But I will never wear that shit again.