Not in front of the children
Grown-ass men tell me to “watch my language” when kids are around. Fuck that.
Correcting your kids
If another adult “disciplines” your kid, the right response is embarassment — you are raising a little fucker who did something wrong. Just apologize and then shut your mouth.
The Shit Show — Updated
One of the family secrets that I did not know until recently — my mother used to call us: “The Shit Show.”
Spotting Bullshit
When did Americans get so goddamn gullible? We fall for propaganda like a middle-age man picking internet brides from Asia.
Cussing in Context
I don’t trust people who don’t cuss — those fuckers are hiding something.
Forgotten Dad Lessons
We often forget the impact we have on others. Here’s a little reminder that came from The Boy (now age 29) through Facebook Messenger of what a shitty dad I am.
Flat Head
After 57 years of surviving on this planet, I just found out, I’m deformed.
Top 10 Douchebag Millennial Moves
Of all the bad shit the Baby Boom generation has done, the worst is raising all of these fucking douchebag millennials.
Susan B. Anthony got Spade
The fucking Savages started this trend of mini-dogs. The Boy followed and several months ago picked up a 13-pound rat that exhibits dog-like behavior.
Father’s Day Party
Last year, the Bear set up a big family dinner for Father’s Day. This year she hosted a giant fucking party for 60-100 people.
Never enough fucks
It drives me crazy when some shit head acts like they are shocked or offended when anyone says “fuck.”
My Generation
My generation sucks. And if you think I’m talking about “The Who” song, you are probably part of the problem.
Douchebag Millennials
This generation of douchebag millennials is lazy, stupid and incompetent…
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