It took 7 years, 4 months and 8 days to get his revenge, but Joe eventually got me. That’s how long it took for the pink eye Joe brought to Meatapalooza in 2017 to get into my eye.

You remember flaccid penis Joe? He’s the one who can’t finish a fucking cookie (or a beer). And he’s also the kind of asshole that shows up to a “boy’s weekend” with a contagion. Never mind that on my last trip to La Jolla with the boys, he was the only one to come home with a friend called Covid.

I knew Joe’s disfunction would eventually get me. Sure, “medical doctors” will say that pink eye can’t be contagious 7 years later. Sure, bacteria or viruses die in days not years. Sure, I don’t even have an official diagnosis that it is pink eye. But I know who to blame.

Some medical professionals may tell you that pink eye can come from a cold. The wife has been coughing like a 1976 Buick Century for a week. But she’s coughed like this before, and my eyes have been fine.

Some people may point the finger at my little grand daughter, who has had a cold for a week, had the stomach flu through most of it, and for the cherry on top got pink eye in both eyes.

Sure her mother got pink eye (and a cough) too. But that’s no proof.

Sure, my wife got the same cold as the granddaughter.

And sure, the other grandmother got the stomach flu.

But let’s not start throwing out accusations of who made who sick in my family. Let’s keep this blame where it belongs.

Look at these two:

Joe Rogers ices where it hurts

Joe ices his injury, while Blossom dresses as Ms. Rachael for Halloween.

Would you blame the old guy with the beard of a homeless man who can’t finish a cookie.

OR…

Would you point the finger at a perfect little angle who only wants what is best for everybody in the whole world.

I’m sure we can all agree. Damn the science, logic and any rational thought. Like the anti-vaxers blaming the shot for the side effects of the disease, let’s all blame flaccid penis Joe for this infection. I’m sure my doctor will agree.

PS: if the title made you think of this clip, you were born at the right time: