Lewis Black announced in 2023 that this was his final “tour.”
I traveled all the way to Reno in February, 2024, to see Lewis for the “last time”. Only to spend two hours being sprayed with “old fashioned spittle” escaping from the gap in goat-fucking Geno’s front teeth. It wasn’t as pretty as it sounds.
The wife and I survived drinking with Geno and laughed our asses off at Lewis Black from the front row — almost center stage. Every time Lewis flipped someone off, it felt like he could touch my head like Jesus healing the sick.
Almost as soon as we landed back in Phoenix, Lewis Black announced “new dates” on his website through the end of 2024. Had to be the end of his last (2024) tour, right? Nothing in Phoenix or Tucson, but he was doing a night in Rancho Mirage — a mere 4-hour drive from home.
In March 2024, signed up for the FUCKU fan club, again. Another $20 to get discount tickets in first few rows of a show. Got second row tickets at the Agua Caliente resort in Rancho Mirage for Nov. 8.
As we drove over… “who would want to come to this place,” the wife said. “It’s fucking ugly.”
From the I-10 freeway, there’s not a plant in sight. Nothing but dirty space, dirty streets and grimy roadside signs. We couldn’t afford to stay in the casino. I booked a room at the Best Western a mere 1000-feet away.
“I’m not walking down these streets,” the wife said. There was no sidewalk, no pedestrian crossings. It’s like they outlawed walking in the desert. Or more likely the people of Palm Springs don’t have enough battery power in their scooters to cover that distance.
We drove to the parking garage and walked the 1000-feet to the show from the other side of the casino. Brilliant urban planning.
In most theaters, I’m packed in wishing I had married a very small woman instead of this giant former volleyball player with endless legs and wide shoulders. Usually, theaters feel like we are stuffed in the last row of a jet going nowhere.
But Rancho Mirage — second row seats right in front of the mike with big, wide, padded comfy seats the way God intended – not like these greedy fucking torture devices brought to you by TicketMaster…
Laughed for 90-minutes at Lewis Black. He didn’t read any rants, so my imaginative and accurate depiction of the Dicks of Palm Springs did not get the homage it deserved. But I also didn’t have to deal with the disappointment of being abandoned once again on Lewis’ cutting room floor.
Almost as soon as we drove back to Phoenix, Lewis announced new shows on his final tour in 2024 for dates in 2025. All the way to October 2025. Jesus fucking christ how long can a final tour last?
Notice these 3 dates in February?
So in February I flew to Reno. In November I drove to Palm Springs, only to learn I could have stayed home until February 2025 and taken the light rail downtown?
Fuck. If I wait 6 more months, will Lewis’ last show be in my living room?
How many more T-shirts can I buy?
I tell the wife.
“Want to see Lewis Black for the last time for the third time?”
“Sure.”
So here I am paying for another FUCKU membership and buying tickets to see Lewis in a small comedy club in Phoenix.
Front row seats on Feb. 6. Come on down and join us and see Lewis Black in just one of his final 1000 shows. If he does show up in my living room, sometime in 2026, you are all invited.
