I’m dreaming of a white tortilla
We’ve been married for more than 35 years. It almost ended this past Christmas Eve.
The Grinch House
If I meet somebody who lives near me, and they want to know which house is mine, all I have to say is “It’s the Grinch House.”
The problem with Christmas
You know what the problem is with Christmas… not enough commercialization.
Unintelligent Design
“Intelligent Design” is such a steaming pile of horse shit — every time some dumbass says it, part of me wants to hit them in the head with a shovel.
On (Re)Writing Pretty Woman
Originally posted on Stephen Metcalfe:
To this day, people often ask me why my name doesn’t appear in the credits of the film, Pretty Woman, on which I did a lot of work. It’s a long story and it’s a short story. The long one first, at least…
Fat Biker Problems
Everybody else loses weight when they ride a bike. Not me. I’ve ridden more than 35,000 miles since 2010, and I just keep getting fatter and fatter.
Voting to end voting
The polls before today’s election are baffling to me. Why are so many people voting for fascism?
Fuck Quiet Tennis
I love playing tennis, but I only “tolerate” watching it. I’d love to be a fan, if I could scream obscenities, dress up like an idiot and bring in…
Had enough
You know you have had enough of a long weekend party with the Pendejos when it’s Sunday and…
Broke ass Boy
A month before his wedding, my son took 15 of his best friends on a bachelor party trip that included surfing in San Diego and at least one day trip to Tijuana.
Political investments
I’d be willing to put more into political campaigns, if I had any idea how my money would help.
Notes on a Son — Stephen Metcalfe
I stole this from Stephen Metcalfe…
When my son was sixteen years old, he did the Shark Fest Swim. Alcatraz to the wharves of San Francisco. One and half miles in cold, turbulent, shark infested water. I shivered and quaked at the thought.
Head Case
I was denied summer camp as a child. I skipped the college dorm life. For a few years, I filled the camp/dorm fake nostalgia with Newks tennis camp.
Bicycle repair man
For 10 years of cycling, my mantra was always: “I don’t want to fix my bike, I just want to ride it.”
Blocked
Originally posted on Stephen Metcalfe:
Writer’s Block:? A condition in which a writer is either unable to produce new work or experiences a creative slowdown. It should be so simple.? I don’t know if it’s age, the anxieties, and uncertainties of the current times, but I have lost…
KieranHumor.com 