I was about 11 when the family wagon rolled into Eau Claire. I was probably the first and last person to have a life-changing event there.
During this fucking pandemic, I think I forgot how to do it. But I’m not the only one.
In order for me to get off, you need to get on…
I was taking my paper bag (I know I hate this fucking planet) and leaving Trader Joe’s, when I saw it.
Holy fuck. A guy was drinking a beer in the checkout line. He had a half-finished six pack at the register. His wife or girlfriend was loading the groceries. No one said shit.
I was surfing Youtube and laughing along at this Color of Change video, when I suddenly had my own white emergency.
Facebook, Apple and Google — guess what, we hate you like you were the phone company or the post office in 1975.
Congress’s pathetic attempts to hold insurrectionists in contempt has backfired.
The Boy made one little change on Facebook, and it sent the Savages into a tizzy.
Vladimir Putin is the king of bullshitters. He’s so good, even when you know he’s lying, you have to think for a second to realize just how steamy his hot pile can get…
Most of my neighbors are so fucked up I can barely look them in the eye, but the Bear and the boy keep dragging me into conversations with them.
I’m so fucking Irish I don’t have to wear green or get drunk on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s a Bullshit holiday — they don’t really celebrate it in Ireland
In my dotage I tried becoming a fan of a celebrity — it’s not working for me.
There’s no fucking free lunch in this world, and that applies to beer too, goddamnit.
I just received some devastating news… my Chiweenie may not be what I thought she was. She might be, dare I say it… part Pug.
Like 99 percent of all men, for years I’ve struggled with getting “pussy” right.
Sometimes people are just too fucking nice, and I’m not going to trust anyone who waves and smiles at me like a psycho. Especially if they are behind the wheel surrounded by 2000 pounds of metal and plastic, and I’ve got my balls outlined by my “cycling shorts” […]