Correcting your kids
If another adult “disciplines” your kid, the right response is embarassment — you are raising a little fucker who did something wrong. Just apologize and then shut your mouth.
Doggie doppelgänger
My tiger-striped chiweenie may not be the only chihuahua-mix named Carol Baskin. The devastating news came as I was picking her up at the groomer.
PROMOTION!
Originally posted on Stephen Metcalfe:
Promotion. Look it up. “An activity that supports or provides active encouragement for the furtherance of a cause, venture, or aim.” Or more to the point – “the publicization of a product so as to increase sales or public awareness”. In this case,…
Fat Biker Problems – School Zones
The worst part of road biking: flat tires. Fat guys get a shit ton of flat tires. The last two were annoying little piss ant slow leaks
Hot conspiracy
I believe my friends have entered in a conspiracy with my wife and the Lord… to kill me.
Bloody Anti-inflammatory
I can usually have a good night if I can just get my drugs right. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
Shitty book holder
I got a new job this year, but I still kinda suck at it. Maybe I will get better with age.
You Can't Handle the Truth
I was drinking with a few friends at the 3rd world racquet club last week. I told them about a neighbor when I was a kid in Akron, Ohio. They didn’t like it…
Dick moves of the omnipotent
If the myth of the god of Abraham is true, he’s got a lot of explaining to do.
Grandpa storytime
Did I tell you the wife and I are going to be grandparents? Blossom Savage is due in June.
Carol Baskins – Pocket Rocket
My tiger-striped chiweenie (possibly a chug) has a secret. Most Saturdays when the weather is nice, she pretends to be an athlete.
Disposable horsepower
Hello Fresh delivered them. Mutant carrots. So long, thick and hard, they would be too big even for the hardest of hard core porn movies.
Beer over knees
Sometimes life forces hard choices; some choices are easy.
Pumpkin house
For Jerry Seinfeld, it was cabinets — for me it was paint. Gary can paint it any color you want. You just have to “say” what you want.
Natural state
My father’s family, the MacNamaras, had a great saying: “Never stand when you can sit. Never sit when you can lay down.”
KieranHumor.com 