Fuck St. Patrick and the snakes he rode in on
I’m so fucking Irish I don’t have to wear green or get drunk on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s a Bullshit holiday — they don’t really celebrate it in Ireland
Suborbital subsidies
Richard Branson couldn’t stop smiling and praising himself for “blasting off” as high as the Soviet Union sent a dog in the 1950’s. Jeff Bezos followed it up by tying the records set by “Ham” the chimp the US sent up in 1961.
Shit Doctors Say
As a patient, I’ve never got to spend more than about 5 minutes straight with a doctor. Unless I was unconscious and he was cutting something out of my body like my appendix or the soft disc in my lumbar spine. Then maybe I can afford the full hour.
Happy Birthday — KEVIN
I’m sure you will agree that birthdays are BULLSHIT. You have done nothing to deserve all this. Today, you are just a hairy freeloader forcing a social tax on your friends for food, drinks and gifts. Congratulations — you are now a socialist.
WordPress – cheese movers
Just when I was getting used to the new shittyness of the WordPress block editor – they fucked up the scheduler.
Fat Biker: Horse’s Ass
Put tires on my road bike that are 3 millimeters wider (25 to 28 mm), so I could ride on a little dirt. What did I get? A berating from two “expert” trail users.
Chiweenie
Ignorance can be bliss.
I wish I had never learned the “breed” name for my little pandemic puppy.
Fat Biker: E-Bikes
I was struggling to get up Las Sendas when these four 70-something, fat ass, snowbirds from Michigan floated past me like they were riding on a cloud.
That’s Mr. Savage to you
I just recently found out that in 1987 I made the biggest mistake of my life. I got married.
Fat Biker: Rim jobs
Fat Bikers are hell on wheels.
Bullshit Remover
After knowing me, and/or reading these Bullshit emails, several former friends of mine have told me to seek professional help. “Fuck that and Fuck you”…
Re-pussy-can Party
I used to grudginly respect Republicans. I didn’t agree with any of their trickle-down, deficit-hawk bullshit. But they at least looked into crimes…
Traitor McGee — Updated
Just like Trump running to Putin, this season one of the fucked up players on my tennis team went running to a bunch of “wanna be” winners. I was told “Traitor McGee” (not his real name, but close enough) wrote “a really nice note” on his way out […]
Top 10 clues that your neighborhood is going downhill
10 – You are on busy corner, and on both sides of the road there are PayDay loan stores.
Flying shoes
Lost: 1 purple sneaker somewhere on I-10 freeway
Found: 1 purple sneaker as it hit the windshield of my lying nazi bullshit diesel.
Reward: Yeah, here’s the reward for the dipshit douchebag millennial; you get to live without being named and shamed only because I don’t know who you are…
Kieran's Humor 