We were sitting at a table of 6. Squeezed between 5 tables in a crowded dining space on the first night of our group tour of Italy. Here on the Lido (near Venice) the tour provided two bottles of wine per table — one white, one red. Everybody at our table was drinking red.
One of the best bullshit stories I ever heard came from Mike Brennan — or at least I’m blaming him for it.
“I met Ruby Tuesday — you know from the Rolling Stones’ song,” Mike may have said – in 1990-something. “He’s my neighbor.”
On the tour in Italy, the wife only wanted to add a few “excursions.” The first was a gondola ride in Venice. “I’ve always wanted to do that,” she said like something in our 36 years of marriage was missing…
Often tennis is much more than a game. It’s a good way to stay connected to those you care about — and some you don’t (looking at you Geno, and your little friend flaccid penis Joe).
For two years I have carefully conducted my own survey of spatial awareness…
They say travel broadens the mind. They say a lot of stupid shit like that, but I can tell you one thing I leaned after traveling in Italy…. for the last 50 years I’ve been doing coffee all wrong.
Every time I find a tennis shoe I like – brand, make, model, year, color, 10 seconds after I walk out of the store, they change all the fucking models
Not too long ago, I told the story of how I learned that the side of earth Amazon box is covered with a penis.
Apparently, I was the last to know.
A couple of friends of mine recently split up, and it made me think that we are just a fucked up species.
Since I was a child hiding under my desk at school “practicing for World War III,” I’ve known the “end is near.” It didn’t start with me. We have all “known it” for a long time.
How can you spot a happy bikers? Count the bugs in their teeth.
I know that’s an old terrible joke… but it sort of applies to bicycles too. I’ve swallowed my share of “free protein” — especially riding at night.
I recently took my 15th final farewell trip to the third world racquet club in Tucson. I learned something that may change the way I look at a small part of life — forever. Once you hear this story, it’s going to mess you up too.
This is for all the “older” people — feeling that life has passed them by…
If you are ever feeling fat and old, go to Deadwood, South Dakota in the summer. Look around the casino, walk the streets. It’s better than time travel.
To give the poor souls some rest from my bullshit words, I have grudgingly added pictures to these rants for the past 4 years.
It’s not going well.
